Ask America and England!
by sexuallylovino
Summary: Like every other Ask fic out there You can ask Alfred and Arthur question's!
1. Introductions

**Ask America and England**

**Chapter 1- Introductions**

CFTN: Well, here is a new fic. It's starring-

America: *hamburger in mouth* ME. Oh yeah and Arthur.

England: *sipping tea* Why are we here anyway? I just got dragged here when I was-

America: *takes hamburger out of mouth*You were doing some freaky stuff, yo. You were like saying this weird old chant and wearing black clothes and then- MMFMM!

England: *chuckles* He doesn't know what he's saying! I wasn't doing any of that! *nervous laugh*

America: *Bites Arthur's hand* You so were. And-

CFTN: Anyway, just ask Alfred and Arthur questions and they'll answer them! ^_^

America and England: That's all we have to do? Okay...

America and England: 'TILL NEXT TIME!

America: BYE!


	2. Relationships & Parents

**Ask America and England!**

**Chapter 2-Relationships & Parents**

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America: Let's get straight to it! I bet you people will love hearing your answers in MY TOTAL HERO VOICE! FIRST QUESTION!

* * *

**Alright then I am going to try and make these questions as best to my grammar abilities to spare you two the time and trouble. Lets get started!**

1. Are you two aware of how many Male Pregnancy stories there are where Alfred knocks you up Arthur?

* * *

Both: O.O

England: That's just Bloody sick!

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**why do you go by Jones instead of Kirkland anyway? I mean Iggy raised you.**

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America: Well, I used to go by Kirkland, but, after that whole war thing -gets close to screen- *whispers* Which I totally won by the way, because I'm the Hero! -goes back in seat- I started using Jones. Besides Jones sounds way better than "Alfred F. Kirkland" Any day!

England: Your lucky I even let you use my last name in the first place!

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**why does it bug you when America calls you Iggy? I mean I get that isn't your real name but it isn't that bad.**

* * *

England: . I hate that nickname! First he butchers my language then he starts calling me bloody Iggy for Christ sake! **fuming**

America: Dude, chill, yo.

England: This is what I mean by BUTCHERING MY LANGUAGE!

**-A minute and America almost getting strangled later-**

America:**gasping**

* * *

**4. England does America know anything about your childhood? I mean like how your brothers abused you and stuff. Cause if he does then I think he could see why you didn't know how to parent him so good.**

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America: **gets close to Iggy** Aw, Iggy, no wonder why you sucked at being a parent.

England: Shut up, I was a damn good guardian.

* * *

**wondering what your thoughts where on this but I am trying to write a vore story(vore : where one person eats another person alive) where Iggy eats America. Just want to cause the last one I read Alfred ate Arthur and I like Arthur more than Alfred so yeah I wanted to let you get in on it IGGY!**

* * *

Both: O.O

England: Why, I don't even know what to say to that...

America: Don't write that! I EAT HAMBURGERS, NOT COUNTRIES!

* * *

America: BYE

England: Good-Bye!

America: NEXT QUESTION!

* * *

**Questions for Artie:**

**Why do people call you Iggy?**

* * *

England: Because of this blasted American over here. Plus, he's the only one who calls me Iggy anyway.

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**Do you hate America? If yes, why? If no . . . -smirks-**

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England: Well, I don't absolutely hate him... AND STOP SMIRKING! It's just that I don't get along with him very well, is all.

America: =¬= Aww, I knew you weren't as bad as I thought.

* * *

**Alfred:**

**What's the best thing Artie has ever cooked?**

* * *

America: Hmm...That's a hard one... uhh... Popcorn...no he burnt that... Nothing!

England: THAT'S NOT TRUE! I've made Fish and Chips for you before when you were little.

America: Yeah, I totally remember that, and BTW they totally tasted like crap.

England: **Corner of woe**

* * *

**Why do your glasses sparkle when you do your hero pose?**

* * *

America: **stands on table doing hero pose** BECAUSE, IT COMES WITH THE TOTAL HERO POSE! AND I'm JUST AWESOME LKE THAT! HAHAHAHA! **sits back down**

England: **facepalm**

* * *

**Both:**

**What would you do if fangirls made you kiss and posted it all over the internet? |D**

**- Hari-chan**

* * *

Both: **gag**

Both: **wave good-bye**

America: NEXT QUESTION!

* * *

**(Ignore Username)**

**Florida: DAD! Tell Oklahoma to stop stealing my Ipod!**

**Oklahoma: Tell Florida to STOP BEING ANNOYING!**

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America: Hey, look, it's my kids! Hey, hey you two stop fighting!

England: …?

* * *

**Florida: I am not! See what she's saying to me! Well you're a mean thief, I swear I won't buy you any Christmas gifts this year! *pout* Can I go over to Pops(England) house this year instead?**

**Oklahoma: Well if you stop being a slut then maybe we could get along and you wouldn't have to go crying back to your Pops! England's such a weakling compared to America all you do when you go over there is lower your rate for living.**

* * *

England: Pops...? WHAT I AM NOT A WEAKLING!

America: Whoa. Don't be a meanie Oklahoma!

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**Florida: I AM NOT! Lies, I haven't even kissed a guy! *sulks* And I'm only came to Pops and Dad because you took my Ipod and won't give it back. This argument again? Look Dad's strong and all, but England is no weakling! He's smarter than Dad anyways. At least his rate of living is better then your hill-billy one. Do you see a disney over there? I think not.**

**Oklahoma: We don't have a disney world because it creates fatties like 90% of your population! The only reason I won't give your ipod back is because your on it all the time! And maybe while Pops is smarter Dad has all the machines plus manpower! So while you listen to your ipod Dad will be conquering England!**

* * *

England: Of course I'm stronger than that damn American!

America: Actually, I don't plan on conquering Iggy anytime soon!

* * *

**Florida: You have more fatties than I do! So you can't talk. I don't understand why you have to go after my Ipod though, California listens to her Ipod more than I do. And if you are so against it why do you even listen to it. Anyways I only listen to it at night, in the car, and when I'm cleaning. Pops has just about the same machine power too! He makes nuclear weapons and has spies! Dad is just more industrial and polluted! Futhermore, the time of imperalisation is over - Dad is in debt and should he fall, Pops would be one of the many to take land! Admit it, Pops is supeirior than Dad, you** **just can't admit it.** **just can't admit it. **

**Oklahoma: As if!*scoff* While you talk about how bad Dad is ,don't forget how he took you in when you needed to be claimed. England doesn't have the guts he's always been weak and never able to finish what he starts. California is a different matter altogether with the things she takes, and I never said I was against it I just think that a person should only be allowed to listen for only a certain amount of time. While Dad also advances in his military and knowledge Pops is just drinking tea. Not to mention the fact that Pops has always had a weak spot for America like in the American Revolution. What has ENGLAND done compared to Dad? supieror than Dad, you**

* * *

America: Where is this going?

England: I DO NOT HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR HIM! AND I'm NOT WEAK!

* * *

**Florida: He conquered half the world.**

* * *

England: Damn straight.

* * *

**By the way, I was traded by spain to dad, if anything, it made me feel more like a property than a person. Dad shouldn't be as worried about the advancement of our military, but more on the starving economy. Our father should focus on more american exports than foriegn imports, we are practically owned by foreign companies! Perhaps our father should stop gulping hamburgers and start helping his kids out! And California...actually you got me on this one. She is a different matter altogether. Though you aren't any better!**

**And Pops totally does have a weak spot for America!**

**Oklahoma: What do you mean? I mean it's like a brotherly bond ... right?**

**Florida: ...well...I suppose...I mean they were kinda like brothers...what other kind of bond is there?**

**Oklahoma: Plenty like Friends, Brothers,Mates,Friends with Benefits,Couples,Married, among others. But know that I think about it England always calls Dad when he gets drunk and have you seen the side glances?**

**Florida: Ya and the lingering touches. Dad always prefered to watch Cali's latest scary movies with Pops. They really aren't like friends and they're ex-brothers, so that rules out brother and friends (with benefits), so that leaves...*blushes* couples and married. But they aren't married!**

**Oklahoma: But this isn't possible of all things that had to be left it had to be couples! Should ..should we ask?**

**Florida: I think...I think we should. um...Pops, Dad...uh...I CAN"T DO IT! Oklahoma you do it!**

**Oklahoma: um... Dad ... well you see we were kinda wondering...if you and England... happened to be in a ... well,..um? Relationship? *Blushes***

**Florida: *blushes* Is it true?**

* * *

Both: HELL NO! NEXT QUESTION!

* * *

**Yea! my questions will be finally answered! Yes,I'm a girl and this will be long.**

**1. Are you two a couple?**

* * *

Both: How many times have we been asked this question? No. For the last time.

* * *

**you know that their are more than 1,000 stories being bromantically involved with each other?**

* * *

Both: Sadly, yes.

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**3. Arthur, do you like it when Alfred calls you Iggy?**

* * *

England: Hell. No. It's a STUPID NICKNAME!

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**4. Arthur, y does your cooking taste bad.**

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England: **Corner of woe**

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**5. Alfred, how do you not die from Arthur's cooking?**

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America: Well, when he's not looking I spit it out in a napkin.

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**6. Arthur, do you wear unicorn pjs when you go to bed?**

* * *

England: Sometimes, But that's only because there really comfortable!

America: Pfft! HAHAHA!

England: SHUT UP!

**-A minute and hot tea spilled later-**

America: **blowing on his jacket**

* * *

**7. Alfred, why do you like hamburgers and why do you watch horror movies if you are afraid of them?**

* * *

America: BECAUSE! ONLY REAL HEROES EAT HAMBURGERS! Because Horror movies are cool :)

* * *

**8. Arthur, why are you into voodoo and magic. Have you ever did a spell wrong?**

* * *

England: Well, once I turned Lovino into a girl! It was so damn funny!

* * *

**9. Arthur, Why do you hate Francis? Have you 2 ever u know had sex?**

* * *

England: HELL NO! HE'S A BLOODY WANKER!

* * *

**10. Lastly ,YOU TWO NEED TO REMEMBER CANADA! ESPECIALLY YOU,ALFRED! I MEAN HE ON TOP OF YOU,GEOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING!**

* * *

America: …? ...Oh yeah! Mattie!

England: ...? Doesn't ring a bell...

America: THANKYOU FOR YOUR QUESTIONS! TILL NEXT TIME BYE!


End file.
